Acts of Desperation
by Wild-Heather
Summary: The dreams of the ambitious, yet hopeless. The visions of the prestigous, yet banished. The cravings of the greedy, yet prosperous. Afraid of the consuming fire, when they were the fuel. Their pride, the igniter. A story of how a clan crumbles onto the shoulders of two lovers.
1. Chapter 1

**Acts of Desperation: Prelude**

This is pre-Naruto. This means that once you read, be prepared for spoliers. I do not own anything that is under copyright.

* * *

The fingertips of the ANBU operative twitched simply out of reflex. The urge to rip off the _tanuki _mask and watch the bleached whale bone shatter into tiny, decorated pieces was becoming hard to bear for the ninja. Closely knit mesh cloth was holding in humid breath. It was all very uncomfortable, especially with the balmy air of _Hi no Kuni _wrapped around the village like a tropical blanket.

The Uchiha compound, tucked away into the most southern part of _Konohagakure no Sato, _was fast approaching. It could not come any sooner. There was an eerie feeling in the air. Lately, there was tension between the founding clan and the political leaders of the now advanced township. With the attack of the _Kyuubi _and its consequent sealing and the aftermath, the Council seemed to be suspicious of the Uchiha.

Not that anyone could blame them, the soldier thought. It was no secret that the Uchiha had complete control over the demon; it was one of their reputed _doujustus_ abilities.

So it was very incriminating indeed. The Uchiha should at least do better to remain undiscovered and be less conspicuous about their coup de tat. But such was life when all the hopes that were had for a dying clan rested on one poor soul's shoulders.

_Are we really so desperate to carve out our paths, gasping for air like fish on the shores? Is this what we've come to? _

The fan on the nin's skin burned like a brand. It was a symbol of the building flames that would surely consume them all.

They were creating their own hellish afterlife. And yet, love could still blossom in this damned place.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own anything that has a copyright.

**Acts of Desperation: Epiphany**

* * *

There was something strange about Uchiha Akira. A little inkling of something misplaced, of something that_ not quite right._ A blatant error that was not so prominent to the inexperienced or novice.

Uchiha Itachi, first-born son, was neither of those things. Yet, he could still not pin down just what made the other Uchiha stand out to him.

As far as his extensive knowledge of Akira went, he was the son of one of his various cousins that littered the Uchiha compound. There was so little blood connecting Itachi and the other young Uchiha that it was a stretch to say that they were even family. Years and years of marrying and bearing children had weakened the blood; now there were many branches to the Uchiha clan.

Moreover, as such, there were many heirs to separate families such as himself. He, Uchiha Itachi, was heir and first-born to Uchiha Fugaku and his wife Mikoto. So then, why was it that Akira's younger sibling, Kenji, was named heir of that family when Akira was not?

What exactly had disqualified Akira?

Akira was a Chuunin, as was Itachi, at the very young age of twelve. He had proved himself a worthy ninja of Konohagakure. In addition, it did not seem as though the young man had issues with his family; whenever Itachi saw the father and son in the compound they seemed to talk amicably. And it was not as if Akira did not have his fair share of possible matches either.

So what was it?

The unanswered question bothered Itachi for months on end. Not out of a dire need to know, but simply for the fact that it was something that he _did not_ know. This was quite rare for him and therefore, frustrated him.

No, not frustrated. Mildly displeased him.

One day, it came to him. Almost like a revelation. It occurred just by happenstance. The sun cast a silhouette over Akira's form, exiting the compound just as Itachi was entering it with his _otouto. _Long hair was thrown back in a hair tie high up on the head. A chain-link earring in the left ear caught the setting sun, making the _uchiwa _charm at the end catch Itachi's keen eyes. Lithe but short frame moving silently, not unlike his own.

But they were not the same and never would be.

And now, Uchiha Itachi finally knew why.

* * *

There was a sense of pride every time Akira walked into the thriving village of Konohagakure. Not the Uchiha compound, that suffocating den of self-consumed men. That place, tucked into a corner like a town of lepers or a stain that must not be seen, gave Akira the chills and the feeling of a heavy weight bearing down on the Chuunin's shoulders; there was always a constant ache.

But that ache lessened some when Akira walked through the thriving markets or past the Academy where the nin's stay was short lived. It seemed that time went so quickly between promotion to Genin and then again to Chuunin. Life did not stop or slow down; nothing did for an Uchiha.

It was peaceful days like this that Akira hopelessly wished for the world to freeze.

"Oh, look! It's Akira! Isn't he so handsome?" Glancing outward to the tittering female voice behind a curtain of onyx hair, Akira saw a girl talking behind her hands to her male friend. No doubt trying to "whisper" but there was hardly any noise that went unnoticed by a well-trained shinobi.

The girl's companion, another fellow Uchiha if the humongous fan on his back was anything to go by, turned his face to look behind him. Muttering, he replied albeit acerbically, "If you go for the pretty boy type."

For some reason, this caused Akira to grin. White teeth became prominent behind almost colorless lips and onyx eyes closed as cheeks rose. With an elegant hand in shaggy, long coal colored hair, Akira ruffled it in a bashful way, revealing a rare chain-link earring in the left ear.

"Why thank you ma'am!" Akira called, voice a little hoarse from so little use. "I find you two to be most ear-catching as well!"

The Uchiha youngster gritted his teeth, jaw flexing from the effort. The girl blushed, tan cheeks staining pink but she didn't seem to be too upset, which was all Akira cared about. As long as it was all in good humor and didn't offend too many people, it was okay to make a friendly jab or two.

"Why you little ass-wipe!" The boy said, coming closer to Akira. They were roughly the same in height but the boy weighed considerably more. The difference was made up in fat on his side because the Chuunin was all lithe muscle. "You annoy the hell out of me!"

Another cheeky grin and bashful hair ruffle, "Is that so? That's very interesting, you know. Because let me enlighten you," another step closer brought the two distant cousins nose to nose, "all of you Uchiha men annoy the living shit out of me as well."

The boy - what exactly was his name, Akira thought - turned the most unflattering shade of purple. Out of anger, his eyes bleed red with one tomoe in each iris.

"Why is that?" Akira's opponent asked, a haughty smirk making itself home of his lips. "Is it because you're jealous that you're not a real man you fag?"

A chuckle rumbled in Akira's throat and then spilled out in raucous laughter. Just as suddenly as it began, it stopped. There was a deadly look in the Chuunin's eyes, one that was the signature of an Uchiha that was oozing killing intent.

"No, it's not that. It could never be that. I'm more of a man without them," Akira smirked, "because I do not rely on such petty tricks that were _given_ to me for my namesake."

Akira continued, stepping closer to the little whelp. "What I have, I worked for. What I have, the entirety of the Uchiha clan cannot and _will not_ take credit for," the Chuunin whispered. "Unlike those eyes of yours. Without them, you would be _nothing._"

The boy - Mamoru, that was it! - opened his mouth to spew some foul words no doubt, when a calm and cool voice spoke over him.

"Don't," someone said. It was a simple word but there was no doubt it was a command.

Looking to the new voice, Akira saw that it was another Uchiha. One that Akira knew fairly well and even remembered the name of, which was quite a feat for someone like Akira. Pronounced tear troughs lined his young face while dull coal eyes were fixated on the battling pair. Hair pulled back in a simple hair tie and dark colored shinobi clothes, he was very simple in appearance.

But Akira knew that the prodigy to the Uchiha clan was anything but simple.

Mamoru wasn't having any of it though. Akira thought with amusement that Mamoru looked like he wanted to burst a blood vessel. Snickering silent, the nin watched with dull interest.

Itachi continued on, "You both should be ashamed of yourselves. Bickering like children when you are shinobi." A brief look of annoyance flashed upon his otherwise blank face.

Akira thought for a moment then responded with a cheeky grin, "Yeah, you're right about that. But I won't apologize for speaking the truth. We need more of that in this clan of ours, right Itachi?"

He remained silent but dark eyebrows furrowed. Akira then knew that the words had hit home with the young prodigy. Stuffing shaking hands (a reaction born from excitement) into black ninja pants, Akira stepped back from Mamoru gracefully whilst rocking on the heels of pale feet.

"It was nice meeting you Mamoru. Is that your name? Oh well, doesn't matter to me!" Walking back towards the Academy to check in on Kenji, Akira smirked.

"It's Manabu, dammit!"

"Okay Mamoru!"

Chuckling, Akira did not fail to notice the footsteps that proceeded to follow. Nothing was said. All that could be heard was the clacking of two sets of _tabi_ on the dry packed earth. Akira was the first to break the silence.

"Any reason why you're accompanying me, Itachi? I didn't realize I still needed an escort at the age of twelve."

Glancing over to the unwanted companion who stared dead ahead, Akira continued, "If you're here to lecture me some more, I'd appreciate it if you'd say your peace right now and not wait till later. I won't ever hear the end of it from my _otouto _if he catches wind of it."

"Why do you hide?"

The question made Akira halt to a dead stop. Itachi however did not falter from his pace, even steps continued to walk away. The question shook up Akira, but did not surprise. If anyone were to be able to discover the secret, if was the prodigious son of Police Chief Uchiha Fugaku.

"Heh," Akira began, looking at the beaten ground in thought, "it's not that I'm hiding. People fail to notice what's in front of them and I fail to enlighten them to the truth is all. I'm not at leisure to disclose anything to the general populace."

Itachi finally stopped a few meters ahead but continued to have his back turned to Akira. "Not at leisure?"

Akira hesitated. _Damn._ "No, but I have a question for you now Itachi. What is the only reason an Uchiha heir cannot be a true Uchiha heir?"

The response was instant, "They have not awakened the Sharingan."

The next question was spouted out just as quickly, "And why is it that an Uchiha cannot ever hope to awaken their Sharingan?"

The answer hung heavily between them, even though it was not spoken aloud until a few beats of the nins' slow hearts.

"Because they are not male."

"Exactly."

As suddenly as the tension had rolled in and settled upon the two it was washed away. Akira grinned devilishly, bringing light to her face. The Chuunin knew she could not hide it forever and it was almost a relief to have someone finally know. Only three people in the world knew that _he _was actually a _she_. And only one accepted that truth.

One was better than none, Akira supposed.

The Uchiha, unlike most clans, were a purely patriarchal society. Male leaders, male council, and in most cases all male shinobi. It wasn't until about fifty years before Akira's time that women were even allowed out of the household to be given a chance to take a shot at being _kunoichi._ While most of the families that made up the Uchiha had outgrown this ancient custom and adapted to society that was becoming increasingly pro-female, Akira's family had not been one of them by choice. Akira's father, Shinta, forbade it. It was how he was raised and that was how he wanted his future sons raised.

It was a tragedy that his first-born child was a gurgling, smiley girl.

Not that Shinta loved Akira and his darling wife Minami any less. That was far from the case. It was just a fact that he would have been more pleased if Akira was a boy. Someone that he could honorably pass on his legacy to without question or doubt. And sadly, his daughter could not be that for the family by birth. But the more he and his wife tried to have another child, the more the couple's hopes began to dwindle. So, it was decided that when Akira turned six months old that she would have to be raised as if she were a male, if only for preserving the family. The rest would come in time, Shinta hoped.

And it did, in the form of his second child. Kenji proved to be a sharp young boy who had a knack for shinobi arts. While he wasn't what could be classified as a prodigy, he was quite well off in his knowledge and skills compared to others in his generation. This made Shinta and Minami very happy but left Akira with a sour taste in her mouth. Questions of why her gender made up such a big difference between the two siblings flew around her mind but went ignored. That's why even after the birth of her sibling, Akira continued to live out her life as a man.

If only to prove that she could. For it seemed that her living this way was the greatest way to seek approval from her father, the only person she ever thought she needed recognition from. However, the older she became, the less Akira wanted Shinta's approval. She became uncaring for the praise or disappointment that her _tou-san_ would rain upon her. Akira finally came to the conclusion that if he could not accept the fact that fate had dealt her the cards that made her a woman, that she would not accept the fact that fate had also dealt the cards that made them father and daughter.

And yet, there was love between them. Not of the familial type but of companionship. There was care and comfort there but only superficially. It made for a more comfortable atmosphere which Akira grew to appreciate. There was an understanding beneath the family's roof and it worked for them. That was all that mattered.

Yet, Akira pondered how Itachi felt on the curious subject. As far as she knew, he was raised in the traditional sense as well. Then again, she did hear wind that Mikoto had participated in the battle to stave off the _Kyuubi_. That would mean that his mother was a ninja but it seemed out of place to Akira. Itachi's father, Fugaku, appeared to be a stern and strict man who followed Uchiha custom to the letter and would expect his family to do the same. Maybe a compromise of some sort? Was Mikoto still an active _kunoichi_? Akira didn't think so but wasn't sure.

Those would be questions she would sift through later. There were more pressing matters to be dealt with.

Continuing their walk, Akira fell in step with Itachi again. His shoulders seemed tense but the young girl gathered it to be something that was a constant with him and not a result of some outside force. His pace was steady and never faltered and he treaded lightly as if the ground could swallow him whole any second. These were signs of good training; they were signs of ingrained self-perseverance which every good soldier had.

As the Academy grew closer if the childish squeals were any indication, Akira finally asked, "What gave me away?"

It was Itachi's turn to stop. Hands by his side, he only smirked slightly and said, "Your shadow."

With that, the young Sharingan wielder proceeded to walk up to the school. In front was a small, dark haired child who cried out a joyful, "_Nii-san!_" at his presence. The two proceeded to talk, the younger blabbering excitedly about his day no doubt while the eldest nodded and smiled gently, listening intently. That was when Akira realized that Uchiha Itachi had a gentle heart.

A gentle heart that would be his end.


End file.
